Showdown with Modern Girl: Our society promotes equality between the sexes as the accepted norm, but how has this influenced the way the mating dance is played out between the men and women in the dating game? The new breed of woman has taken this equality thing to it’s logical maximum and is effectively playing the game on the prowl: I’m going to call her Modern Girl.
Let’s be clear – this is more than the girl who understands she can say no to your advances and not be loudly questioned about her gender preference and certainly someone for whom there is no glass ceiling at the office: this modern woman is acting more like… a man. Maybe you’ve dated one, maybe you haven’t. Sooner or later, you will have your own High Noon with Modern Girl: whether or not you survive will depend on how fast you can draw the conclusion that you’re dealing with one. Have you seen any of these telltale traits lately?
The Good Traits
Your Wallet Will Thank You. Splitting the bill is the absolute norm for Modern Girl. She doesn’t even know what the concept of Going Dutch is about since she’s always expecting to pay her own way. Heck, she might even out earn you – now there’s food for thought! Don’t panic, just roll with it: with the savings you’ll get from not having to pay for two all the time, that gorgeous 48” Rear Projection HDTV you’ve always wanted for the Ultimate SuperBowl party is finally within your financial means.
I Need My Space. There’s nothing more irritating that a relationship with a needy chick who waits on your every word, expecting you to schedule two lives instead of one. Modern Girl, on the other hand, has her own life & her own social circle. For her, a relationship with you isn’t enough reason to give that up. Celebrate the good news: the mid-week beer night with the boys will no longer have to roll on without you when you’re involved.
Free Agent Status. Exclusivity is not always a requirement for Modern Girl – she’s smart enough to practice safe sex, but practice makes perfect and she’s OK with getting plenty of that with someone other than you. If you’re horrified, think about it: you’d always wanted to swing a little and here is one girl who’s OK with it. The only problem is if she’s got designs on swinging with the same girl that you’re digging. And there’s the sublime beauty of it all: you could end up in a ménage à trois without even trying. Perfect.
Sex, Sex, Sex. Sex with Modern Girl happens sooner. She does not consider you carrying a selection of tastefully flavored condoms on the first date to be presumptuous. Instead, she sees you as being on the same wavelength, which means ready to get naked on the first date. When I dated a Modern Girl, on our first time to her place, we were watching TV while I was desperately trying to figure out how to make the first move. Imagine my surprise when she got up, pulled the curtains shut, disrobed and gave me a mind-blowing oral assessment on the subject of why immediate intimacy is a good thing. Couldn’t agree more…
The Bad Traits
Welcome to the Off Season. One Modern Girl at my office, when she’s attached, shows up at work in boring clothes, minimal makeup and cheesy spectacles. Not Hot. When she’s single, however, she struts in every morning wearing figure-hugging outfits, perfect make-up and contact lenses. Hot. Showing your true self once you are comfortable in a relationship was always something the guy did first, but now it’s a foot race on a two-way street. Maybe that’s fair, but the biggest problem is that not all Modern Girls look good without that hour-long pre-date ritual in front of the mirror. ..Ouch..always look good no matter what…..
The Ugly Trait
Heads Up! Incoming! Guys have always dropped the bombshell when a relationship had hit a dead end. Now, either side can hit the red button and Chernobyl the relationship without any warning. Guys have been dumped before for stuff like cheating or not paying enough attention, but when you get dumped just because she’s bored with you, you’ll do a gut check that finally tells you if you can handle Modern Girl’s modus operandi.
Dating this new breed of Modern Girl is the wave of the future; as more women embrace these ideals and understand how it empowers them, you’ll only get shot down in flames if you don’t adjust your game plan. I’m not suggesting that you need to start running trick plays to fool the other team, but you have to know how the game is being played to have a chance of enjoying the spoils of victory. If it all ends in a draw, relax – there’s no sudden death overtime here!
By Kenneth J Delbridge /Tonighter